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Tuesday, January 18, 2011


    i am so sorry before , if u cant understand what i am talking about. ahhaah because my english are not good enough so . i am so sorry . ;P  i do my best and just wanna share about my love story ....

     i was born in Indonesia , and i am asian girl  , but i dont really interest with asian guy  . ok , honestly i ever falling in love  with  few asian guy . but i can feel that feeling stronger than usually when i falling in love with western guy. they are just amazing and perfect in my eyes. every word they are telling me , make my heart melting and jumping. and most of the western guy smart and very rationality . i love the way they are thinking and arguing.

      so what i am going to do are, looking for the western guy by facebook , hi5 and anything else on network society . easier i can meet him just by using internet. just click the type of the guy u want it and then *tring* . he is already in front of you by web cam. 

     What do you think about cyber dating? or chatting with somebody else by msn or ym ? and then you are falling in love with that guy . is that normally ? or crazy thing? i tell you once again , this one posting note just for the ordinary people who are really love with western guy , so they are searching up from facebook , hi5 , and the other else network society. 

     do u ever feel he (i mean the guy u meet on social network)  act like hiding something behind you? u dont even know if he wanna tell you a lie , because you are live so far away from him. u cant take any control about him. he can do anything he wants to do with his friends, family and even his crush. 

     he ever told you that  he loves you so much but we are cant be together forever. is he tell you the truth ? i dont think so , may be he just want to make you happy for a while , what's going on the next ? you cant trust him anymore , because everything he told that was a bullshit. 

     By this day , i know the answer is , start to searching any information by Mr. Google i guess. because that's so helping me so much. just typing his name on the box . example : Who is Maria Clara Novita Kusumahati? and click ENTER . and you know what's going then ? every information i need , Mr. Google can give me.

     use your logical , if u meet that guy by internet or cyber. so u also can get more information about him by Google-ing too . i get so much information from there. but after you know the truth about him , dont be sad, cheer it up . what must to do after you know about him ? 
     ask HIM !!!! and beg him to tell you the truth ! .. and after that , case closed ? i dont think so . but thats help you a bit to fixing your heart :) i tell you once again !!!!! and reading very carefully -->  don't be sad , just because you know the truth . this is life and u have to survive from any trouble and problem come to you .
      ok , this is all talk about my love story , nothing special about this post. but for me you are the special part in my heart . i wish i could tell him what i am feeling . because i cant stand by this situation forever . i dont wanna feel hurting or sick because of him.

      this is all my fault , and not him. because i am really curious about him. so i am searching on GOOGLE. and now i got the information about him , but after that i am so sad now to know that truth .

     someone told me, his name Mick Simon Klaas Ferwerda:
to be honest
I think
he sees you more as a friend
a far friend
or a flirt
from far
nothing serious
if he would live there or you here
it may have been different
but you have to be realistic Clara

 the problem is
you arent seeing it as a flirt
you are really in love with him
thats bad girl
thats really bad
he is to far away
you should have kept it on a low level, a possible love / A far flirt.. adn then it might have grown further if you really wanted to see eachother
it can still change if you 2 meet

its not his fault neither its yours
its the distance
he is keeping his options open
if he was focusing on you, a girl thats far away, he risks of breaking his heart
cause he cant go
and he has to live with that feeling the whole time
meanwhile he sees if there are other girls of his interests
thats how nature works
I love jonna so much.. but I shouldnt.. cause it hurts me everyday
cause I just cant be with her.. smell her hair... touch her..
so thats the main reason but.. I think he at least should tell you the truth


who is your husband in the future ?

     Hello , do you ever worry about your future ? who are you in 10  years later ? and What is kind of job you have in the future ? and so do i ... That's question always in my head , in my dreams , and in my mind. i need to figure out that question. ok That's not very big problem in my head , but the real problem for me is that talking about "who i my husband in the future". u can laugh if u want , but i am seriously arguing about this. this is not joke and whatever u call it.

     i am almost 19 years old and i am getting bigger and bigger everyday . what exactly i am looking for ? in the fact until now i never in relationship with any guy in the world . yadda . and how about u the reader ? i hope u are not have the same experience like me . :p

     If i wanna have boyfriend or crush or dating friend actually i can make it, but the problem is the guy who love me , they are not my type -..-" .. i love WESTERN GUY  especially Europe man . :p they are just so amazing in my eyes .. very very different in my eyes . :( any body can help me ? :p

     i have so many many western friends , but just the only one very special in my heart ! :p he is ........... *i dont wanna tell his name* sorry . :p just call him Bread eater. i want to attach his picture in this post but i think i cant do that , i am affraid he is getting mad at me . :P

     He is come from Holland . :D i love his eyes , his voice , and everything about him . god damn ! he knows that i love him . but i dunno what is the responds from him .. i think he doesn't love me back . he already has Girl friend , i saw it from his facebook . :( but when i ask him about that relationship is that true or not , he answered " thats kinda joke, not the seriously one".

     What ? that's JOKE ? the worst Joke i ever heard . am i right reader ?  why he doesn't want tell me the truth  , so i don't really expecting about his love . :( because i am CRAZY , so i love him . i am never touch him , hug him and smell his body .i just  WEB CAM with him and heard his voice . :(  if u ask me "why do you  love him ? " i cant answer the question because i just dont know the right answer.

      To be continued ....

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