Your future in you HANDS

Crying and Screaming is the normal way?
expression when you feel so stuck and feel everybody disappear.

because Sometimes The bitter experience make you feeling so down and feeling so bad.
feels like nobody avoid you and leave you ...
but i still keep survive to face it and stand up again..

People around you screaming and blame at you every time you made something wrong.
nobody want listen and care with you.
but i don't stop dreaming to get what i want the most in this world.

they can reach what they want, no matter how hard it is, and so do i.
i wont give up.
the more people get me down, the more i survive my self to raise again.

being spotlight and everybody get attention at you, that's the dreams of every single person.
being love and to be loved.

maybe I'm the loser dreamer.
dreaming and hope to erase and swap all of my bad things in the past..
but voices in my head whispered and screaming "you can make it!"

and SO !!!
when someone say you are a dump, don't yelling back at them..
all of you gotta do is turn around and give your biggest smile to them..
and say it in your mind "you will regret this".

because there's still another chance it call TOMMOROW
everybody has an equal chance, chance to get the better life.
let you past make you BETTER not bitter.

problem will always come at your life.
so, learn something from your problem then you will be the wiser person than before..

unexpected result, unexpected condition, and unexpected person always come the wrong time.

Note it in you head !
Dear enemies, thank you for making me stronger. no matter how you try to push me, i still alive.
and i learn to stand up again after falling.


Guys do you wanna know whats beyond wonderful? look in the mirror :)

HAPPY SATURDAY EVERYONE ..
xoxo

@ClaraNovK

I hate being fool in front of you .

This is not your fault being very rationalist and smart person .

sorry i can not be the perfect like u want .

we are experts in our respective job.

do u ever had the same experienced with me readers ? :(  i am speechless .

what should i do ? :P

i love music , but u are not . music is my life , i love sing , but u are not .

i am not politician , i do not love politic news  , that is not means i do not care with politic , but i just feel that very boring topic we are talking .

sorry . i do really sorry

Woman are thinking with their right brain , you know what is Right brain exactly ??

that is means woman are very touching , sensitive , and 99% use their emotional for every case they have .

and Man are thinking with their left brain , you know awhat is left brain exactly ??

that is means men are very rationalist and logical person . so that is why they can be very seriously one or become a beast when they are thinking and talking .

i am very speechless talking with the rationalist man , i do not why . XD

i do not mean that woman cant be the rationalist person , but we are just different with man  . -..-"

i cant explain about this one . errr

i do not give up for my weakness , no more .

"ill show ya" opps . :P

if your type of the girl is rationalist woman ? ok man , i will do that .

i am try to impressed you by now ! ..

Better late than never

i take this as a feedback to be a better person . :)

Love is just  not enough talking about the feeling, sacrifice and hurting  . that is just happening in the movie -..-" LOL .       i do understand now ...

i have to be the a better person for him ..

to be continue ..

@ClaraNovK

FINALLY CASE CLOSED !!!!!! :D

hey , remember the last post in my blog . :P ... its over now between us , no more hurting , no more lie , no more breaking . :) .

if u see my post on January , this month is talking about him . :P

the problem start on 1 january and case close end on 31 january .. only one month .. so fast , but thats hurting me badly . XD

i have no idea , wat im gonna talking about on this blog .

i just wanna tell you , i am happy . :D no more pain i keep inside .

but now the problem is , i feel so ashamed every time i read back my blog -...-"

thats really bad . :p why i should doubt in him ? he is very nice guy i ever met . :)

for every girl in this world ! dont give up for ur love . :P

no one knows , if he is ur next husband . :p just try it , and never give up ..

even this is very impossible for you . i tell  you now , nothing is impossible . :D

even though today i cant touch him , i wish someday i can do that . :)

wipe his tears when he feels so sad , make him smile when he feel so suffer , and make he falling in love with me . :p oops . XD ahhaah i cant force that feeling , the feeling come naturally . :)

WE ARE APPROACH WITH VALENTINE'S DAY . :P
wait my next post ok . :) .... keep smile readers

@ClaraNovK     * i wish i can change my user name on twitter @ClaraVeerhuis or @Mrs.Veerhuis . oopps again :P. *

STUPID DISTANCE OR I AM STUPID ?

    i am so sorry before , if u cant understand what i am talking about. ahhaah because my english are not good enough so . i am so sorry . ;P  i do my best and just wanna share about my love story ....

     i was born in Indonesia , and i am asian girl  , but i dont really interest with asian guy  . ok , honestly i ever falling in love  with  few asian guy . but i can feel that feeling stronger than usually when i falling in love with western guy. they are just amazing and perfect in my eyes. every word they are telling me , make my heart melting and jumping. and most of the western guy smart and very rationality . i love the way they are thinking and arguing.

      so what i am going to do are, looking for the western guy by facebook , hi5 and anything else on network society . easier i can meet him just by using internet. just click the type of the guy u want it and then *tring* . he is already in front of you by web cam. 


     What do you think about cyber dating? or chatting with somebody else by msn or ym ? and then you are falling in love with that guy . is that normally ? or crazy thing? i tell you once again , this one posting note just for the ordinary people who are really love with western guy , so they are searching up from facebook , hi5 , and the other else network society. 

     do u ever feel he (i mean the guy u meet on social network)  act like hiding something behind you? u dont even know if he wanna tell you a lie , because you are live so far away from him. u cant take any control about him. he can do anything he wants to do with his friends, family and even his crush. 

     he ever told you that  he loves you so much but we are cant be together forever. is he tell you the truth ? i dont think so , may be he just want to make you happy for a while , what's going on the next ? you cant trust him anymore , because everything he told that was a bullshit. 

     By this day , i know the answer is , start to searching any information by Mr. Google i guess. because that's so helping me so much. just typing his name on the box . example : Who is Maria Clara Novita Kusumahati? and click ENTER . and you know what's going then ? every information i need , Mr. Google can give me.

     use your logical , if u meet that guy by internet or cyber. so u also can get more information about him by Google-ing too . i get so much information from there. but after you know the truth about him , dont be sad, cheer it up . what must to do after you know about him ? 

     ask HIM !!!! and beg him to tell you the truth ! .. and after that , case closed ? i dont think so . but thats help you a bit to fixing your heart :) i tell you once again !!!!! and reading very carefully -->  don't be sad , just because you know the truth . this is life and u have to survive from any trouble and problem come to you .

      ok , this is all talk about my love story , nothing special about this post. but for me you are the special part in my heart . i wish i could tell him what i am feeling . because i cant stand by this situation forever . i dont wanna feel hurting or sick because of him.

      this is all my fault , and not him. because i am really curious about him. so i am searching on GOOGLE. and now i got the information about him , but after that i am so sad now to know that truth .

     someone told me, his name Mick Simon Klaas Ferwerda:

to be honest
I think
he sees you more as a friend
a far friend
or a flirt
from far
nothing serious
if he would live there or you here
it may have been different

but you have to be realistic Clara

 the problem is
you arent seeing it as a flirt
you are really in love with him
thats bad girl
thats really bad
he is to far away
you should have kept it on a low level, a possible love / A far flirt.. adn then it might have grown further if you really wanted to see eachother
it can still change if you 2 meet

its not his fault neither its yours
its the distance
he is keeping his options open
if he was focusing on you, a girl thats far away, he risks of breaking his heart
cause he cant go
and he has to live with that feeling the whole time
meanwhile he sees if there are other girls of his interests
thats how nature works
I love jonna so much.. but I shouldnt.. cause it hurts me everyday
cause I just cant be with her.. smell her hair... touch her..
so thats the main reason but.. I think he at least should tell you the truth

@ClaraNovK